Sequined Sequels


After watching Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl for the umpteenth time (I downloaded an illegal, bootlegged copy of the movie, so sue me (please don’t!)), it finally occurred to me how structurally similar Pirates is to The Mummy (starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz). In The Mummy, you have a girl who, with her brother, goes to the middle of the desert with a muscular tough guy, unleashes this cursed mummy upon the world and have to defeat it. In Pirates, you have a blacksmith who wants to marry a high society chick, a half-crazed pirate seeking revenge, and a Caribbean-threatening cursed pirate who wants to take over the world. A heroine, a hero, an amusing side kick, and a world-threatening evil; where could I possibly be going with this? In Return of the Mummy, they brought back the hero and heroine as a married couple and gave them a kid, then put them in a race against the mummy to get to the ultimate power. Maybe Pirates 2 would be similarly themed? As in Elizabeth and Will marry and have a little one and they join Jack on the Black Pearl in a race to a mystical power that Barbossa could use to conquer the Caribbean and then . . . THE WORLD!! HAHAHAHA! Sorry, I got a little sidetracked. But how could Barbossa be alive? Wasn’t he shot and the curse was broken and he felt cold? Could the monkey be the one calling the shots now? Wouldn’t that make for an interesting climax. Jack Sparrow and Jack the monkey battling it out for this legendary treasure and Will and Elizabeth and little Johnny Turner fighting pirates (Keira Knightly said she would get to do more fighting if there was a sequel) and such? Who knows? I certainly don’t. But those two guys who got screen credit for the final script have done lots of scripts and couldn’t possibly be influenced by a Stephen Sommers film. Could they? I mean, after all, once a movie is made, doesn’t it’s thematic underpinnings stay with us until the film-makers are all dead? I have no idea what I’m saying anymore, so this is the end.

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