Awake and Danny Gans

Starring Hayden Christiansen and Jessica Alba, this movie focuses on a condition called anesthesia awareness, wherein the body is completely paralyzed but the mind is fully awake – meaning you can feel pain – not something you want during a heart transplant. The movie is really well acted and has a really great story. Part love story, part medical drama, part conspiracy and part John Q, I enjoyed it very much. Hayden is a fine actor as long as he has a real director/script (i.e. not George Lucas).

Danny Gans
I got the Christmas Show so I guess I didn’t get to see the really, REALLY impressive bits like Satchmo, Elvis or Michael Jackson. I also didn’t really start enjoying myself until 15-20 minutes into the show because it was all singers that I wasn’t really familiar with so I couldn’t draw comparisons. He was doing bits of singers who didn’t enunciate at all and after the 2nd one he did a Bill Cosby that was very funny (sounds like he had a mouthful of Jello!).

His Dean Martin was decent (I’m not familiar enough with Jerry Lewis to comment) and his Sinatra was fair, but mostly I’m super harsh on those because I just saw the Rat Pack in Hollywood.

His Bing Crosby was way off ๐Ÿ™ but Andy Williams and Johnny Mathis were fine.

His Johnny Carson was enjoyable, as was the Karnak the Magnificent bit (May you be forced to dine with Robert Blake in an Italian Restaurant), but I’ve heard very little Carson.

Jimmy Stewart came out (sounded very close to Wylie Burp) and sang Rainbow Connection with Kermit which was very enjoyable.

His Billy Joel was actually quite incredible and accurate.

His Jeff Foxworthy jokes were good (he had some I hadn’t heard which blew my mind), but his accent was fair to middling.

12 Months Of Christmas
First Month – Larry The Cable Guy
What the hell am I gonna do with a partridge in a pear tree?
Second Month – John Travolta
Third Month – Clint Eastwood
Now I know what you’re thinking…did he say three hens or four? These are the most powerful poultry in the world. So you gotta ask yourself…do I feel plucky? well do ya…punk?
Fourth Month – Rodney Dangerfield
Fifth Month – Wayne Newton
*whistles the ‘s’ of rings* darn these new caps
Sixth Month – ?
Nothing like a bunch of horny birds!
Seventh Month – Woody Allen
Drowning in a pool of their own despair and misery
Eight Month – Pee Wee Herman
Ninth Month – Columbo
Nine ladies dancing with each other. Cheek to cheek. And I turn to the guy I’m dancing with and…
Tenth Month – ?
I don’t know what was more upsetting, the fact that there were ten grown men leapin’ around…or the fact that I kinda liked it.
Eleventh Month – Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
The pipers looked kind of weak, like girly-men, and need to pump it up.
Twelfth Month – Andy Rooney

However, I will give him a second chance and see him again outside of the Christmas Season because he is a very talented, solid and most importantly clean (family-friendly) performer with lots of energy/enthusiasm. Oh. And because he closed the show with Lee Greenwood’s, “God Bless the U.S.A.” Any man who’s that much of a patriot will always get a second chance in my book. ๐Ÿ™‚

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