Comedy Comes to Life with Sex & Violence, The HD/Blu-Ray War Begins and The First Amendment Gets Questioned…Again

Suri, the name of Tom Cruise’s new daughter, is Japanese for pickpocket and the placenta thing was a “joke taken out of context” from GQ. Riiiiight. He didn’t chicken out at the last moment. It was a joke.

Capitol Hill Blue – Falwell strikes out with Supremes is kind of a parody of Falwell’s name and that’s what the proprietor intends to do with his parodic stance against Falwell’s anti-gay feelings.

China’s Hu, ‘Friend’ of Microsoft, Pledges Action on Piracy
Great….now China’s gonna start supporting DRM’s…at least they’re not allowed to enforce it here like they do in China…now THAT would be scary.

Judge Blocks Law to Report Sex Under 16 – New York Times
Because if people think they’re going to get reported, they won’t come in for an examination. This judge is an idiot. Not to mention the fact that there’s no such thing as consensual sex for people under 16 because they’re MINORS! And I’m damn sure that two parents aren’t going to agree that yeah, your underage kid can screw my underage kid.

Cowabunga, Mother#@(%er!! Towelie VS. Oprah!! South Park 10.5
Was Comedy Central hypocritical by airing an issue criticizing the lack of free speech in America AND censoring Mohammed (peace and blessing be upon you)? Their official response: of course we’re not hypocritical (translated from legalese). I think they might be a little hypocritical (if there’s such a thing as degrees of hypocrisy), but not entirely.

If there’s one thing Texas Hold ‘Em goes with it’s… a family comedy?
It’s a funny Rounders? Definitely an interesting idea…

Wade Sampson : Wednesdays with Wade: Disney goes postal
A nice little article on the history of Disney-based postage stamps.

Columns by PC Magazine: Are You an iVideot?
I don’t spend nearly enough time watching internet video, which keeps me kind of safe, but there’s a lot out there that would be fun to consume. The trick is to pick and choose…and not to get addicted. “No really, I can stop watching any time I want.”

Iraq: 2 Teachers Slain in Front of Pupils
I know it’s evil of me, but I instantly think of George Carlin. “We went right on with our arithmetic. 5 teachers minus 2.” And what’s the deal with the strong language…are we trying to make everyone who dies in Iraq a martyr for the anti-war crowd? Oh that’s right, the media is trying to do that…go figure.

BBC NEWS | Europe | Danube to get flood alert scheme
That’s a good idea. Instead of doing it by country, rivers that run through several countries should have a general flood warning system. Kind of like how the Mississipi runs through many different states but everybody is kept up to date by the national government…except it’s totally different because Europe is a continent with no central government. I hate it when my analogies are worthless.

BBC NEWS | UK | UK Politics | Middle-aged ‘still enjoying sex’
GAH! Don’t tell me that! That’s very weird!

“Well you know you’re grandparents haven’t retired from EVERYTHING! Thanks Mom, my nose is bleeding!”
“I never could picture my mother screaming, ‘Get it up you pot-bellied stallion!’ And she’s like ‘Your father used to be an attractive man.’ Yeah Godzilla used to be a little bitty lizard too!” (Jeff Foxworthy).

BBC NEWS | Technology | Next-generation DVD battle begins
They’re right….the winner will be determined by the gaming market. I’m in favor of Blu-ray because why shortchange on a space upgrade?

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | China ‘selling prisoners’ organs’
Does China has an organ-donor program? “I’m a condemned prisoner and you’re going to execute me and I want to donate my organs?” Nevermind the fact that the executed prisoner is just a dissenting voice.

Newsvine – Fla. School Official Sorry for Gay Remark
He called them a protected species. WHOA! What…but…<sputters>…free speech? Guess that really doesn’t matter when you offend a major political movement/group. It’s dehumanizing! We have to protect our children! That’s right. Let’s just coddle the future generations to death.

Newsvine – Judge Says Ten Commandments Can Stay
It’s staying because it represents the law even though it’s religious. But if a historical thing is based on a particular religion, we should have the freedom to display it, shouldn’t we? Or must we censor history?

Newsvine – Hef Gives TV to Students Watching His Film
I don’t know what’s more amazing: That Hef produced Macbeth or that he actually sent a TV just because they asked him to. I think it’s awesome that he’s such a generous guy.

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