Category Archives: Disney

What this? This collection of Disney-related articles is just a glimmer of my passion for the empire Walt created. The real amazingness is over here.

Sequined Sequels

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UPDATED AGAIN…LAST TIME, I PROMISE After watching “Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl” for the umpteenth time, it again occurred to me how structurally similar Pirates is to “The Mummy” (starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz). In Mummy, you have a girl who, with her brother, goes to the middle of the desert with a muscular tough guy, unleashes this cursed mummy upon the world and have to defeat it. In Pirates, you have a blacksmith who wants to marry a high society chick, a half-crazed pirate seeking revenge, and a Caribbean-threatening cursed pirate who wants to take over the world. Type Of Character POTC THE MUMMY Adventurous Hero Orlando Bloom Brendan Fraser Comely, Intelligent Heroine Kiera Knightly Rachel Weisz Drunken/Lucky Sidekick Johnny Depp John Hannah World Protecting Agency British Navy Elite Egyptian Guard World Threatening Evil Geoffrey Rush Arnold Vosloo A heroine, a hero, an amusing … Continue reading →

Dead Zone

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Here I am, sitting at my computer, eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s (mind your P’s and Q’s damn it) and I just realized (I think for the second time) that I can’t tell the difference. Between Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring’s widescreen edition and extended edition, that is. I can’t tell how they inserted an additional 45 minutes and I don’t notice it, which is strange for me. I’m such an anal-retentive bastard that details should matter. Even so, I’m able to ignore these thoughts and enjoy one hell of a good movie which gives name recognition to some of the coolest action heroes now in existence (who else do you think I’m talking about but Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen). It makes a hell of a good story, these novels that I read in junior high and can’t read ever again. Yeah I’ve always … Continue reading →

Sequined Sequels

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THIS WAS UPDATED, I MADE IT BETTER! After watching Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl for the umpteenth time (I downloaded an illegal, bootlegged copy of the movie, so sue me (please don’t!)), it finally occurred to me how structurally similar Pirates is to The Mummy (starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz). In The Mummy, you have a girl who, with her brother, goes to the middle of the desert with a muscular tough guy, unleashes this cursed mummy upon the world and have to defeat it. In Pirates, you have a blacksmith who wants to marry a high society chick, a half-crazed pirate seeking revenge, and a Caribbean-threatening cursed pirate who wants to take over the world. A heroine, a hero, an amusing side kick, and a world-threatening evil; where could I possibly be going with this? In Return of the Mummy, they brought back the … Continue reading →

Twitterpated

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Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example. You’re walking along, minding your own business. You’re looking neither to the left, nor to the right. When all of a sudden, you run smack dab into a pretty face. WHOO WHOO! You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head’s in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather. And before ya know it, you’re walking on air. And then you know what? You’re knocked for a loop! And ya completely loose you’re head! And that ain’t all. It can happen to anyboy. So you’d better be careful.   Now what better way to look at relationships then through the eyes of a semi-psychotic yet well-meaning cartoon owl. Not the one that eats the Tootsie Pop in 3 “licks”, but the one from the Disney Animated Feature, Bambi. This is his speech on “love sweet song (pain … Continue reading →

Disney Ramble

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I need a story idea. I have no idea what I’m typing right now; I just need to make it look like I’m working. My thoughts are all jumbled and I can’t concentrate, I just keep thinking about Disneyland Resort. This weekend was the final weekend of some special deal where Southern Californians get two parks for the price of one and everybody had gone to Disneyland first and now they needed to use up the rest of their tickets so they bum rushed DCA in an attempt to take up time. I walked in and it was like an episode from the Twilight Zone, lines were everywhere, people crowded the streets. It pissed me off. And it’s not that DCA is a bad park, it just lacks that unifying magic. All it needs is a better theme. Eisner tried to make it so that nobody would want to visit … Continue reading →

Gargoyles

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Gargoyles Back when I was younger, Disney had a really cool afternoon program arrangement that aired on K-CAL 9 (at least where I was). It was entitled The Disney Afternoon. I really enjoyed it because it was fun to come home from school and watch the next generation of Disney toons. (Heh, Next Generation. I love Star Trek). Speaking of Star Trek, there was one of those new toons that I came to thoroughly enjoy and celebrate. Gargoyles. “In 1994, Buena Vista Television released the animated series Gargoyles. The show followed the adventures of a band of Scottish gargoyles in present-day New York after sleeping in stone under a magic spell for a thousand years. Gargoyles quickly became a hit with fans and lasted for two more seasons. Unfortunately, in early 1997 Buena Vista Television cancelled Gargoyles, despite the millions of fans who loved it.” The above quote is from … Continue reading →