Category Archives: Movie

The moving picture industry has had a profound effect on me.

Transporter 2

This film was lots of fun. I had a great time in the theatre, and even more fun picking apart the plot line afterwards. But that’s besides the point…this film is about the absolutely incredible fight choreography. What I loved about the first movie (and this movie) is that Frank (Jason Statham) has this incredible improvisational fight technique and can turn anything into a weapon. Fire hoses, syringes, beaded curtains, anything. Absolutely incredible to watch. And the driving! Wow…stunts, stunts, stunts everywhere you look. Just so much fun. Definitely worth the bucks.

The Dukes Of Hazzard

<Heavy Sigh>. Please forgive me…I only saw it because I thought Jay Chandrasekhar had the kind of respect for the original TV series that would have made this a good film…but I was wrong. The only connections to the TV show are purely superficial. Yes, there is an orange car with a confederate flag on the roof. Yes, there is a family clan with the last name Duke. Yes they shoot bows and arrows with dynamite attached. But they’re not on probation for running moonshine and therefore forbidden to touch firearms…they ARE RUNNING MOONSHINE! THEY ARE ENGAGING IN ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES!! THEY ARE NOT MODERN DAY ROBIN HOODS, THEY’RE MODERN DAY ALKIES!!! <Howard Dean screams in the background>. I can’t even talk any more about this film…that’s how much it gets my blood boiling. The only conclusion I can draw is that if I had not watched any of the original … Continue reading →

The Island

This movie was incredibly fun and a real thrill ride. I enjoyed the heck out of it. Unfortunately, it’s a film that isn’t clearly defined in it’s genre…come to think of it, this isn’t the first of it’s kind…there have been several gender-benders…the only one coming to mind at this moment though is the other science fiction-action picture about cloning…The Sixth Day. The ads were geared towards Michael Bay’s fan base…and he delivers a satisfying action picture, but also (in my opinion) earns his stripes as a director here. True science fiction and action combined is more about the philosophy and the special effects, but there are important/well-acted moments that I attribute not only to Ewan McGregor (anybody who pulls off a decent “acting with himself” scene deserves major props), Scarlett Johansson , Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean and the ensemble cast but to Michael Bay. The biggest problem is that … Continue reading →

Wedding Crashers

Are all romantic comedies date movies? Or are all date movies romantic comedies? I enjoyed this movie…and while the guy gets the girl in the end…I wouldn’t take a girl on a date to see this movie. It’s a movie for the guys to see together…or is it? I just can’t get my head around this. The morals of the movie are somewhat questionable (loose men picking up supposedly excited women?) but the finale is romantically sweet. Is that the point society has come to? Is it socially acceptable to take a girlfriend on a traditional dinner/movie date where the movie is American Pie or Wedding Crashers and despite that crassness of the film it’s acceptable because it has a happy ending? I refuse to accept that (this of course from the guy who took his ex-girlfriend to see Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets). The movie made me … Continue reading →

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory

A sweet movie remake (I know, I know, it’s a horrible pun but I can’t help it because it really is a sweet movie) that is not your father’s chocolate shop. No Candyman here…all we get is semi-sweet and a little nutty music composed (and sung by!) Danny Elfman, Tim Burton’s male love interest…I mean most frequent collaborator…hehe…sorry…anyways…the music is obviously different, but the goal wasn’t to recreate the Gene Wilder experience…it was to recreate the magic that many people associate with Roald Dahl’s book (hence the title change…among other things). Unfortunately, that forces me to make this one of the blandest movie reviews in my history because…I’ve never read it. I know, I know, it’s a travesty…but it would be a bigger travesty to warn you away from this movie just because it doesn’t meet up to the old movie…because that was never the goal. Instead I must merely … Continue reading →

Fantastic Four

This movie was incredible. I had never read the original comics and I think the only reason I was even acquainted with the characters was because of the cartoon from the early to mid 90’s, but that doesn’t make me any less of a fan (in my opinion). The Fantastic Four characters, while created by Marvel (Stan Lee and Jack Kirby to be exact) to combat with DC’s The Justice League* are slightly different from your normal super heroes: no secret identities and no complete harmony on the home front, but that’s exactly what makes them so endearing…especially on the screen. The characters’ personality flaws and traits created natural tension which in turn creates great drama which was executed well in the script/story and delivered even better by the cast.   The major plot change (from the true comic origins) is that Victor Von Doom ends up in space to … Continue reading →

Bewitched

I enjoyed this film very much. It was an exceptionally good romantic comedy that revolves around a remake of the Betwitched TV series with the inclusion of one tiny world detail…witches really exist! Will Ferrell agrees to play Darrin in the remake with the exception that they cast an unknown as Samantha so that he can over-star-power her and recover from a string of HORRIBLE designed-for-TV-but-released-in-theatres films. His plan fails (Darrin was such an unnoticeable character in the original that he was replaced and NOBODY NOTICED!!!!), but due to the typical misleading information that is the paramount of any comedy, Nicole Kidman (delivering a beautiful turn as a witch who falls in love for the first time) becomes insulted by Ferrell’s unusual change in character (he begged her to be in the show because she could do the “nose thing”…well she is a witch…) and loses all desire to hide … Continue reading →

War Of The Worlds

I absolutely loved this movie. Steven Spielberg returns to the disaster flick genre he shook up with Jurassic Park with phenomenal results. Having never read the original H.G. Wells book or seen the 1953 movie, I didn’t know what to expect. The only thought I really had going into the movie was a review of a PC game of all things. While PC Gamer was reviewing the release of Half-Life 2, they compared the “striders” viewed in screenshots to the invading machines from War of the Worlds. With just that comparison in mind, I sat through the kind of clichéd (but necessary in any good disaster flick*) opening that introduces the people you’re supposed to care about for the next hour and a half. I’m ambivalent (who isn’t) on Tom Cruise (except for the "My Little Deuce Coupe" moment with Dakota Fanning that was so beautifully scripted that he was … Continue reading →

Batman Begins

This movie rocked! I loved it. I had as much fun here as when I saw Sin City and they both fall into that brand new rare category of really freaking good comic book movies. Christian Bale makes a great Batman and Gary Oldman is an excellent Jim Gordon…can’t wait to see that relationship develop. In my opinion, the best way to look at this film is as the re-launching of a franchise and I hope we can look forward to many more Christian Bale / Batman flicks (even though they’re running out of villains to kill off)…why is it that evil always has to be vanquished at the end of a movie, but in the comic book, they can just be toted off to Arkham to break out and try to kill Batman again? I love the allusion at the end of this movie to the first Batman…it’s like … Continue reading →

Madagascar

I laughed. I really did. And I really tried to like this movie…but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t enjoy this film because the story was hackneyed and poorly written. The penguins were hilarious (“Don’t give me excuses, give me results!”), as were the chimpanzees (“If you have any poo, fling it now.”) and the lemurs were great. The king lemur (voiced by Ali G who credits himself here as Sasha Baron Cohen…must be his “real” name) was absolutely hilarious (“They are just a bunch of pansies. Let’s go meet the pansies!”). He reminded me of Dijon from Duck Tales: The Movie – Treasure of the Lost Lamp. Everybody’s individual performance (I especially enjoyed David Schwimmer’s hypochondriac giraffe “Nature! It’s all over me! Get if off!”) was incredible and the visuals were stunning…but the story/concept just didn’t gel together for me. I had the same problem with Shark Tale and I … Continue reading →